Somebody’s Watching Me

Saturday August 13

Probably the biggest problem with being in hospital, other than the obvious physical ones!, is boredom. Hours drift by slowly, and even with things like phones and computers, there is a limit to how easy it is to keep yourself alert. Equally it does mean that small things become important – meal times, a nurse chats a little while checking the blood pressure, and so on.

One such break from the routine comes this morning when the physio takes me out the room and I walk along the corridor. I can probably do a bit more than I actually do, one of the biggest issues now is having no idea what my limits are. Nonetheless, it is liberating to see the outside of the room, even if only another part of the institution.

Sunday morning, this liberation is improved more as I am given permission to move around unsupervised. While I have been keeping to the rules, it’s truly no fun having to ask someone if they mind watching me as I shuffle off to the toilet and then have me call them back when I’m done. Add to this the fact that one result of the operation, and side effects of some of the painkillers, is being constipated. The best cure for this, apart from laxatives I’ve been taking, is extreme patience when on the toilet. I can do this if left alone, but when someone is waiting for you, it’s not such an easy task. These small indignities, even when for your own good, are hard.

However, there are small things that help. Along with the extra walking and liberating myself from the prison of the room, I am given some tools that will help me dress myself. One is a grabber, which can be used to hold trousers, let me dangle my leg into the trouser leg, and then use the contraption to pull the trousers up. It’s altogether a faff, but a wonderful one, allowing me one more thing I do myself. Another is an ingenious piece of plastic that let’s me put a sock on. The plastic holder is folded up into ‘foot’ shape, then put the song round it. Using the attached straps, pull the device over your foot and the sock is on!

Getting dressed, that is putting on a t-shirt, pair of socks and a pair of joggers probably takes about ten times longer than under normal circumstances, but I’m doing it, no-one need help and that matters.